A geriatric specialist had a 75 year old contractor as a patient. When the patient was in for an exam one day, the doctor commented, "You're getting quite old -- you're really up there. Maybe it's time to retire."
"Eh ???!!!" the old contractor said, cupping his ear to hear better.
"I SAID," the doctor yelled, "YOU'RE GETTING QUITE OLD -- YOU'RE REALLY UP THERE. RETIRE!"
"'It's really cold, and I should get a sweater and be near a fire'???" the old man asked.
"Oh, for Heaven's sake," the doctor said, listening to the man's chest with his stethoscope, "Just listen: YOU'VE GOT A HEART MURMUR ! BE CAREFUL !"
The old man looked surprised, nodded agreement, and left.
A few weeks later, the doctor received an invitation to the old contractor's retirement party at the local country club.
When he entered the dining room, there was the old contractor, standing next to one of the most sexy young ladies God ever put on Earth, wearing a beautiful, clingy gown. She was holding the contractor's arm.
The doctor hurried over to them. The old contractor, beaming with pride, said, "Doctor, I'd like to introduce you to my wife!"
The doctor grabbed the old man and pulled him aside. "YOU'RE WIFE ???" the doctor yelled. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH A BABE LIKE HER ???"
The old contractor looked at him shocked and said, "YOU TOLD ME TO DO IT !!!"
"I TOLD YOU ?" the doctor asked. "WHEN ???"
The old contractor said, "AT MY LAST VISIT TO YOUR OFFICE, YOU TOLD ME TO GET A HOT MAMA AND BE CHEERFUL !!!"
"NO! NO! NO!" the doctor corrected, "I SAID, 'YOU'VE GOT A HEART MURMUR! BE CAREFUL!'"
"Oh," the old contractor muttered.
"HOW DID YOU GET A GIRL LIKE THAT?" the doctor asked.
"I LIED ABOUT MY AGE!" the rich old contractor explained.
"YOU TOLD HER THAT YOU ARE 55?" the doctor suggested.
"NO!" he smiled, "I TOLD HER THAT I WAS 95!"
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