I've got nicknames for my wife: "Littlest," "Tiny," "Tine" and "Tininess."
She knows me very, very well, including the bizarre ideation about everything which fills my head.
When I leave the house to go someplace, I'll sometimes kiss her and say, "Bring underwear." She'll answer, "Absolutely."
What in Heaven's Holy Name does that refer to?
It's actually a religious joke. She knows that I am poking gentle fun at those Christians who preach The Rapture -- the notion that someday, perhaps soon, thousands will suddenly disappear, leaving us less worthy slobs to fend for ourselves in the chaos of the less fortunate.
I am implying, "Look, if the police call, and they report that they found my car running, and my clothes in a pile on the driver's seat and floor, it is because I have been raptured. I want you to rush over there with a clean pair of underpants and substitute that in for the not-so-clean pair in the pile."
When Littlest leaves the house, I'll tell her, "Remember, shout 'Stop! Don't!' repeatedly!"
That's a not-so-religious joke. I'm telling her, "Look, if some ruffian grabs you and tries to drag you into the woods and rape you, I want you to to keep yelling, "STOP DON'T STOP DON'T STOP DON'T STOP DON'T STOP ..."
I also say, "YOU'RE REALLY SOMETHING!" and she answers, "But you don't know WHAT!" or I will say, "YOU'RE SUCH A TREASURE!" and she will answer, "YEAH, YOU WANT TO BURY ME!"
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